What to Do On A Lift
by Spoot Poot
Summary: IT IS I! EDWARD ELRIC! And I have taken over this fic! and it's mine! so there! you cant have it! Just read it will ya!


Ed: I'm in charge today! and I have a very evil idea...

What to do in an elevator.

Ed was wandering around the halls of the military base in Central, when he came across an elevator, that was quite busy. "This is gunna be fun..." he said, softly. an evil grin crossing his face. oh yeah, he was just that board. he walked up to the lift and smiled again, the doors opened...and he got on...

A lady boarded the lift, and looked over at him, He smiled and reached out a hand, she shook graciously. "Belenda." She said. "Call me admiral." Said Ed. the women looked shocked and snatched her hand away. he did the same thing, several times to many people. only one man called him Admiral!

At one floor, he rushed from the lift, going on the hunt for a stray briefcase. he had a terrible idea. he found one in the lost and found, and dumped it out, then rushed back to the lift. when he was settled in, he looked up at a man, then cracked open the briefcase and whispered, loud enough so the man could hear, "Got enough air in there?" The man looked at him in horror, Ed looked up and grinned madly! "Shhhh..." He said, the doors opened and the man rushed from the lift. Ed laughed.

At one point, he felt it was time to just annoy people. every time they got on, and the doors opened, he would yell out: "DING!" people didn't like that too much. the door opened, "DING!" he yelled. "Will you stop that!" a women yelled at him. he just smiled at her, as the door opened again. "DIIING!"

This one would be tricky, but he had a plan. people got on the lift, and gasped, Ed was standing in the corner of the lift, facing the wall, and not speaking, or moving. they quickly exited. this happened several times, before Ed got bored with it.

Three people got on, and the doors closed. Ed smiled and nodded his head in a greeting, they came to a floor, and Ed rushed the door, he slipped his gloved hands in between them. he huffed and puffed, and struggled to open the doors. but failed. When the doors did open, he looked over at the three people, giving him a weird look. "Eh...hee hee..." He giggled out, looking mock embarrassed.

He was glaring at a man who had gotten on. he just stood there, staring, for the longest time, untill the man turned to him. Ed became terrified. "YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!" He shouted, and backed away slowly. the man grumbled as he exited at his floor.

This had been going on for a few hours now! and oh what fun! he had a plan to really freak out the next passengers. A man and a Women entered the lift, the man pressed the button, and Ed let out his best explosion sound. The man and women both jumped and looked over at him. he seemed as if he had never done such a thing, looking innocent.

This one was gunna be fun! one man entered the lift. Ed was standing by all the buttons, he gazed upon them with great wonder. "Hmmm...I WONDER WHAT ALL THESE DO!" He shouted, and wiped his hand across the buttons. Ignighting them for every floor, the man on the lift fell to his knees.

Two women got on the lift, Ed smiled at them, calmly. "Oh such a cute kid." said a women. "May I press your buttons?" he asked. "Oh how nice, 5 please." said the other women. Ed pressed every one but 5. he looked up at them. "Did I do good?"

Teh man looked over at Ed, He was grinning at this stranger, and couldn't stop staring. The man stared back. Slowly Ed's grin became bigger and bigger. "WHAT!" The man shouted. Ed stayed calm. "I have new socks on." He said calmly, the man turned in a huff and refused the rest of the ride, to look at Ed.

There was an emergency phone on this Lift. when a few people boarded, he grabbed it up and held it to his ear. "Yeah, don't worry baby, I'll take out the trash! no, we're not breaking up...I said we're not-oh...no! BABY NO! DONT DOOOO THIS!" Ed pretended to cry, the few women looked a bit concerned as Ed dropped to his knees and cried over the fake call.

It was quiet on this ride. it was just him, 2 men and a women. he looked around, not a sound could be heard. he thought about a fake fart noise, nah, to juvinaial...OH! HE GOT IT! he looked over at a man. "Is that your beeper?" he asked, the man looked down at him. "What?" Ed grinned. "What?" The man asked again. Ed did not speak, just grinned.

there was just one other man on this lift with him. He reached over, and tapped the guy on the arm, when the man turned around, Ed gave him a weird look. "What?" the man turned back around, Ed tapped him again. When the man turned again, Ed looked mad "Can I help you buddy?" the mans jaw dropped. "That wasnt you!" he asked. "What are you talking about?" asked Ed. fortunately for the man, his floor had arrived.

THIS TIME WAS GUNNA BE GOOD! he had some chalk in his pocket, when a few people entered, he drew a square around himself, then stood his ground. When one boy asked what he was doing, Ed crossed his arms over his chest and declared that THIS was his personal space!

A lady got on the lift, and greeted him with a smile. "What floor?" he asked. "9, please." She said. Ed pressed 9, and it seemed, to the lady anyway, that he had been shocked by the button. Ed smiled, and pressed it again, and again, he pretended to be shocked, he continued, untill the lady got off on floor 7! Ed laughed!

Ed was holding the door open with his foot. A man got on, Ed let him in, but continued to hold the door. "Are you waiting for someone?" Asked the man. Ed looked over at him."Yeah, a friend." after a few moments, he let the doors go. the turned to the nothing space beside him and smiled. "Hey Greg, how was the train ride?" the REAL passenger of this lift gave Ed a weird look. Who the hell was this kid talking too?

This lady looked tooooooo easy! she got on and gave him a smile, then pressed her button. they stood quiet for a moment, then Ed dropped his pen. he waited, and sure enough, she went to pick it up, but before she could Ed yelled out, "THAT'S MINE!" she retracted her hand. "Ok, alright..." she turned and faced the doors. Ed just giggled silently in his hand.

"Good afternoon ladys and Gentlemen." Ed said, as a few men and women got on the lift. "Lets begin, shall we. Emergency exits are here," he pointed up. "And here," he pointed down. "Please keep all hands and feet, inside the lift, at all times. no horseplay, or 'ruffhousing' in the lift. trespassers will be shot on sight..." He had to stop, the people were demanding he did. he just started laughing.

He held up a camara, the women getting photographed, looked shocked. he snapped a photo. "Oh, that's gunna come out real nice." he said softly. she squealed and exited the lift. another man entered after her, and Ed took his picture. the man looked angry, then turned around. A few more people got on, and got their pictures taken.

The women next to Ed looked on at him with worry. he was swatting flys...there were no flys...

Ed could hardly contain himself! this time he had a good one, the Lift was about crowded. he rubbed his hands together, like a demon plotting in hell, suddenly he cried out, "GROUP HUUUUG!" The people looked angry as he forced a hug on all of them. "Come on, get in here! Uncle Morty! when did you get in! Aunt Silvia!"

The doors opened, Ed was plotting his next big prank when he saw the angry face of Colonel Mustang. "Get out, or I'll blast you out!" he said. Ed looked up at him with tearful eyes. "Awww! Roy! you ruind all my fun!"

The End!

Ed: I'm a bad boy!

Spoot: *coverd in mud and grime* EEEEED!

Ed: O.o gatta go!


End file.
